It's a Wit-Off!: Onrait vs. Duthie
17 Comments Published by Sherry on Sunday, March 11, 2007 at 8:20 PM.
I woke up this morning with full intention of calling my boys out on their display of crapitude lately but I decided that we needed something more light-hearted and look at that other rivalry.
It's been debated and discussed, a battle that's raged on for well...months I guess. But who is funnier on TSN? Jay Onrait, host of the evening loop of SportsCentre and the genius behind the live TradeCentre Blog which has become a cult classic? Or James Duthie, the host of NHL on TSN and Tie Domi and Maggie the Macaque's babysitter?
In the spirit of Fame Tracker, we shall assess Duthie vs. Onrait on a point system. Winner gets a congratulatory e-mail, a poorly photoshopped certificate of authentication and get to move on to the next round of the Wit-Off versus Greg Ross of Sportsnet to determine who is the resident Wit of the Canadian Sports Television...o sphere.
The Gig...
James Duthie -
- Has a prestigious gig with NHL on TSN...+5
- With Bob McKenzie...+1
- With Pierre McGuire...-1
- With Glenn Healey...-1
- With Darren Dreger...+2
- With Tie Domi...-5
- With Maggie the Macaque...-3
- Seems to hate Maggie as much as the rest of us do...+2
- And that's it...-1
Jay Onrait -
- Has a regular shift on SportsCentre, the most watched Sports News program in Canada...+7
- It's usually the the 2 a.m. - 12:00 p.m. loop...-3
- Often with Dan O'Toole...-1
- Or Bryan Mudryk...-1
- Host of President's Choice Raptor's Basketball...+2
- Basketball?...-1
- No seriously, basketball?...-1
The Connections...
James Duthie...
- Can summon anybody on demand through his magical Blackberry. Especially useful during TradeCentre...+5
- Can call Brad Richards up for Jelly-fish related advice...+3
- ...Brad Richards?...-2
- Brad Richards...+1
Jay Onrait...
- Nobody worthy of note...they're probably basketball related. Ergo, nobody worth mentioning...-3
The Most Important Category - The Wit
James Duthie
- Has a regular column on TSN.ca that's always very entertaining...+3
- Rarely updates it though...-2
- This:
...+5
- And this:
...+2
- Simply aren't enough of those...-1
Jay Onrait...
- Has a regular blog on Tsn.ca that's always very entertaining...+3
- Updates it pretty regularly!...+2
- This:
...+5
- And this...:
...+2
...+3
- Likes the Arcade Fire...+1
- I hate the Arcade Fire...-2
Final Tally
Duthie - 13 points
Onrait - 13 points.
Well, it looked like Duthie was going to run away with it based on the strength of his gig but Onrait made a game of it with his subtle brilliance.
So voting public, what should be the tiebreaker? Force them into a dance-off? Judged by the next column? Or, a simple democratic and fair and balanced vote based on who's suit you like better or think is better looking?
So many choices! Choose wisely.
It's been debated and discussed, a battle that's raged on for well...months I guess. But who is funnier on TSN? Jay Onrait, host of the evening loop of SportsCentre and the genius behind the live TradeCentre Blog which has become a cult classic? Or James Duthie, the host of NHL on TSN and Tie Domi and Maggie the Macaque's babysitter?
In the spirit of Fame Tracker, we shall assess Duthie vs. Onrait on a point system. Winner gets a congratulatory e-mail, a poorly photoshopped certificate of authentication and get to move on to the next round of the Wit-Off versus Greg Ross of Sportsnet to determine who is the resident Wit of the Canadian Sports Television...o sphere.
The Gig...
James Duthie -
- Has a prestigious gig with NHL on TSN...+5
- With Bob McKenzie...+1
- With Pierre McGuire...-1
- With Glenn Healey...-1
- With Darren Dreger...+2
- With Tie Domi...-5
- With Maggie the Macaque...-3
- Seems to hate Maggie as much as the rest of us do...+2
- And that's it...-1
Jay Onrait -
- Has a regular shift on SportsCentre, the most watched Sports News program in Canada...+7
- It's usually the the 2 a.m. - 12:00 p.m. loop...-3
- Often with Dan O'Toole...-1
- Or Bryan Mudryk...-1
- Host of President's Choice Raptor's Basketball...+2
- Basketball?...-1
- No seriously, basketball?...-1
The Connections...
James Duthie...
- Can summon anybody on demand through his magical Blackberry. Especially useful during TradeCentre...+5
- Can call Brad Richards up for Jelly-fish related advice...+3
- ...Brad Richards?...-2
- Brad Richards...+1
Jay Onrait...
- Nobody worthy of note...they're probably basketball related. Ergo, nobody worth mentioning...-3
The Most Important Category - The Wit
James Duthie
- Has a regular column on TSN.ca that's always very entertaining...+3
- Rarely updates it though...-2
- This:
...+5
- And this:
...+2
- Simply aren't enough of those...-1
Jay Onrait...
- Has a regular blog on Tsn.ca that's always very entertaining...+3
- Updates it pretty regularly!...+2
- This:
Jay
Ryan Smyth signed 5-year extension for a reported 27 mil.
- Steph
So I guess it's official then. "Eklund" is a woman and her name is Steph.
...+5
- And this...:
10:16 - As a montage of Sheldon Souray plays you can hear that "Movin on, movin on" song by the All American Rejects. I think that's who sings it. I don't really care to be honest.
...+2
10:42 - Yes! A Cybulski appearance! James throwing to James. "C-Balls" is live from the Air Canada Centre. He points out Wellwood, Tucker and Peca could be back for the start of the playoffs if the Leafs make it. C-balls is asked by Duthie if Marty Biron is on the ice practicing with the Sabres who are in town. C-balls makes a "head swerve" and reports that, no, he is not on the ice. Duthie says C-balls should be on Dancing With The Stars because of the graceful head swerve. I agree. I'm calling it right now. James Cybulski would win "Dancing
With The Canadian Stars" hands down. Holly Horton would be a close second. "Snake" from Degrassi would be third.
...+3
- Likes the Arcade Fire...+1
- I hate the Arcade Fire...-2
Final Tally
Duthie - 13 points
Onrait - 13 points.
Well, it looked like Duthie was going to run away with it based on the strength of his gig but Onrait made a game of it with his subtle brilliance.
So voting public, what should be the tiebreaker? Force them into a dance-off? Judged by the next column? Or, a simple democratic and fair and balanced vote based on who's suit you like better or think is better looking?
So many choices! Choose wisely.
Labels: general boredom, james duthie, jay onrait, miscellaneous, sherry needs a life, silliness, wit-off
I love them both. However, anyone who calls up Brad Richards has my vote. I mean, come on. Brad played for the Notre Dame Hounds, which makes his connection to Saskatchewan to the SOUTHERN half of the province, which, by default, means he is NOT a douche.
It's a tough call. Onrait just brings the funny so consistently that I've gotta vote in his favour.
but Duthie has been on Sens Underground...
still - Onrait - he's the man.
OC - I've never been to Saskatchewan but I guess that means the Southern part of the province is the non-douche part?
Ben - I see more of Onrait's wit but Duthie is a Senators fan so it's a hard call for me too.
I know who I'd vote for but I'll let the democratic process run its course.
All right, a tally each then.
That still solves nothing!
That still solves nothing!
Well, just wait a second! Let me vote! I choo-choo-choose Onrait!
I have no idea who either of these dudes are, but I may have to throw my weight behind the guy who came up with the Noodles feature, because that is brilliant.
HG - And he choo-choo-chooses you as well!
Margee - Consider your vote tallied.
But unfortunately we are still at a deadlock. I may have to keep voting open until the end of the week.
Or maybe somebody hould e-mail both of them to let them know they're in this heated race and if they want to submit any campaign efforts nwo would be the time to do so.
Onrait gets my vote, for the trade deadline blog alone. And for the creation of "C-Balls".
Sherry - with the Northern part of the province boasting such noteables as Endo, Das, and the Armdogg (whoever started calling him that should be shot) and the south boasting such sweeathearts as the Schaefers, Moen, Getzy, Stoll, and Murray, it is most DEFINITELY the non-douche portion.
I'll keep that in mind if I ever pay a visit there!
I think in Ontario it's the opposite given the Southern part of Ontario is where Toronto is.
Ooh, so hard..but I gotta choose Duthie.
1. because he's from Ottawa
2. because he replied to my email when I wrote to tell him how funny he was :)
However, I do have to agree that C-Balls was brilliant!
As far as e-mail replies go, Onrait was pretty swift as well.
So my vote goes to him.
Rachael - It's okay, that's a very good reason to vote for Duthie. Apparently, Onrait replies to e-mails too!
Duquesne - Thanks, I saw, haha.
I have to vote for Duthie if only for a comment made last season when the Sens were playing the Leafs again after beating them by outrageous scores in their previous meetings. It went something like "contrary to popular opinion, the Maple Leafs have shown up tonight". It killed me then and kills me now and for that I will always support Duthie!
Duthie because he is my idol ^_^
Onrait. He's just funnier. Duthie is good but not nearly as witty.
If Jay Onrait isnt the best sportscaster of all time then my name isnt Gino Reda!!
onrait..
it kills me that he hasn't been on sportscentre lately