So lets see...

Habs speedbump, check.

Rangers speedbump... not quite, but still gone.

Canucks took the slipper off of Cinderella and beat her on the head with it, check.

The Flyers "balanced attack" apparenlty had all the balance of a drunk college girl.

The Devils 'Canes was probably the exact opposite of a snoozer (I still can't believe the Devils lost, they were up 3-2 in the third!!!)
As a Sens fan I do feel obligated however to say to the Devils fans, doesn't losing a game 7 with a goal in the dying minutes suck? Yes it does. It sucks even more when it's the Eastern Final and you fought back from down 3-1 in the series. SUCK IT JEFF FRIESSEN!

Columbus looked like they weren't even in the same league as the Red Wings for the first 10 periods of that series.

Calgary... wow... that team is just a whole lot of over rated individuals right there. I get the feelings from a great portion of Flames fans (Flamer Nation?) that they are unhappy with the apparent lack of heart or effort from their captain. I would welcome a swap with Ottawa for Jason Spezza. You know... just throwing that out there. They'll even through in a barely used Christoph Schubert!

San Jose... Ottawa Senators West Coast Affiliate, what else is there to say? I just don't understand. For years people would always point to the Sens as a favorite to win the cup but they always had an easy to pick out achilles heel with goaltending... similar to Philly for so many years. But you look at San Jose and I don't see where the deficiency is. They have the defence, they have the goalie, they have the forwards? What gives? I will not accept the "Joe Thornton is not a playoff performer" excuse. I can't see how one guy can poison a whole team that much. Especially considering for his first half of his Senators playoff career Alfredsson had the same label but he's been pretty nails for the team in the last few years.

So I guess to paraphrase Jimmy the Greek about my first round selections, "when you are right 37.5% of the time... you're wrong 62.5% of the time"
Oh, why didn't I mention that before?

So without further distraction (and because the first game is already underway as I type) let us get on to my further demonstration that I know nothing about hockey

4 Quick Thoughts On The Capitals and Penguins
1) Isn't it odd that Martin Brodeur the recently annointed "best goalie ever" let in not 1 but 2 goals to lose game 7 in the final minute and 20 seconds which now leads to Gary Bettmans wet dream matchup?
2) Everyone is talking Sid vs. Ovie, but what about that other guy? Malkin is his name, you know, MVP candidate... ya Sid vs. Ovie, got it.
3) Simeon Varlamov would be the most amazing story of the playoffs about a rookie goalie shinning with zero experience if it wasn't for Jonas Hiller doing the same damn thing.
4) I think Washington learned a lot in their first round series and actually transformed but I'm a little worried they might have an injury to Green and am wondering which team shows up to start this series.

4 Quick Thoughts On The Bruins and Hurricanes
1) I can't help but think "Steve Chaisson"
2) It's about time a team from Boston got a break. That city needs a win so badly.
3) Boston is catching lightning in a bottle this year getting huge contributions from young guys on cheap contracts. They can't hope to keep up this consistency in the cap era for much longer before the young guys will want to cash in.
4) On one hand you have Milan Lucic who is fun to watch beat people in to the ground but on the other hand you have the 'Canes who've been there recently and are starting to round in to form that got them to the last one.

4 Quick Thoughts On The Red Wings and Ducks
1) Much like with the Hurricanes I get a real familiar feeling watching this Ducks team. Both of them seem like real deja vu stories compared to their recent cup runs.
2) If Detroit would have won the 2007 Western Final, I would have had seats to a Stanley cup game, so screw them.
3) If the Ducks would have lost the 2007 Stanley Cup final, I'd be a lot happier right now, so screw them.
4) Roof collapse, everybody wins!


4 Quick Thoughts On The Canucks and Blackhawks
1) This Blackhawks team apparently never read any of the "they are too young it's not their time yet" required literature.
2) Martin Havlat, on top of his super human 81 game season with 77 points put in 6 points (3G and 3A) in the 6 game series. *cough* contract year *cough*
3) Seriously Nucks fans... planning the parade route already?
4) Commit to the Indian!

Off to a great start... Canucks up 1-0... I suck.

Update: 2-0 Canucks... I suck more.

Labels: Fuck and Yes

Hey look who finally decided to post to the blog! It's about goddamned time! I've just been too busy basking in my awesomeness of being the best Scarlett Ice blogger in the Battle of Ontario Battle hockey pool. WOOOO, SIXTH PLACE! EAT IT!

So I could sit here and rehash the season that we will drink to forget, but unlike most of Leaf Nation I'm aware that 16 other teams are about to indulge in games that actually mean something. Quickly if I may though, how much of a blowhard is Brian Burke today with his "I am going to try and move up in the draft" press conference? Of course the Toronto media just ate it all up. Not much else really going on in the NHL anyway. I wouldn't be at all be surprised if Burke held another press conference in which he accuses chestnuts of being lazy or claims to have invented the question mark.

I have all summer to sit and talk about what went wrong and what needs to be fixed with the Senators but for now let's just talk a little playoffs shall we?

4 Quick Thoughts On The Bruins And Habs
1) History does not matter... the Habs are a going to be a speed bump.
2) The Bruins signed Zdeno Chara and Peter Chiarelli and are eastern conference champions. The Ottawa Senators kept Wade Redden and John Muckler and are paying three head coaches next season.
3) Marc Savard golfs at my in-laws golf course, hopefully not until June.
4) There will be riots in Montreal.

4 Quick Thoughts On The Capitals and Rangers
1) Henrik Lundqvist does not matter... the Rangers are going to be a speed bump.
2) Sean Avery makes me feel stabby.
3) BONGOS!
4) I like Alex the Eights excitement. Don Cherry is going senile.

1 Quick Thought On The Devils and Hurricanes
1) ZZZZZZZZ...

4 Quick Thoughts On The Penguins and Flyers
1) Sidney Crosby is good, Geno Malkin is very good, the Flyers balanced attack is better.
2) Martin Biron will have to be the difference for the Flyers.
3) I'm acustomed to regular season dominance, offensive super stars and the crushing defeat that comes with a question mark in net. I'm acustomed to Flyers hockey.
4) If I can't have a battle of Ontario I'm sure I can enjoy the battle of Pennsylvania.

4 Quick Thoughts On The Sharks and Ducks
1) I've barely watched either of these teams this season.
2) I'm acustomed to regular season dominance, bloated playoff expectations and the crushing defeat that follows them. I'm acustomed to Sharks hockey.
3) This Ducks team, the one with huge cap issues that hey... just squeeked in at 8th, was not assembled by Brian Burke. It was, for the majority, drafted by Bryan Murray then fine tuned by Burke to win the cup, then flushed down the toilet with a bunch of horrible contracts and cap issues created by Burke before he left to become the programming staple for TSN.
4) Regardless if Joe Thornton ever wins a cup, San Jose will always have won the trade for him with Boston and if they could go back, 100 times out of 100 they should still do that deal.

4 Quick Thoughts On The Red Wings and Blue Jackets
1) Detroit seems to be the only team that can win a cup with average goaltending.
2) Unfortunatly it won't happen this year because a hot goalie will beat them in 7 games in the opening round.
3) Antoine Vermette plays for the BJ's, I wish him well.
4) I once road tripped to a game in Columbus. It was worth the 6 hour drive both ways, even if I was severely hung over for the entire ride home.

4 Quick Thoughts On The Canucks and Blues
1) The injury to Robbie Lu this year actually helped the Canucks since it prevented them from allowing him to start every game.
2) As good a story as the Blues were down the stretch the clock is about to strike twelve on this Cinderella story.
3) St. Louis Blue, Brad Boyes had 72 points in 82 games this year and was traded by the Leafs WITH Alyn McCauley AND a 1st round pick for ONLY Owen Nolan.
4) The Blues play in the Central division along with the BJ's and the Blackhawks all of whom did not make the playoffs last year.

4 Quick Thoughts On The Blackhawks and Flames
1) I'm amazed at how many Flames fans are picking the Hawks to win, many of them in 5!
2) I finally think Calgary will get over the first round hump since the trip to the big dance and what better way to do it than over a team that is all bright eyed and bushy tailed over their first trip to the playoffs in 5 years?
3) Two of the three leading scorers on the Blackhawks were 15 the last time the Blackhawks made the playoffs.
4) I just realized Martin Havlat played 81 games for the Blackhawks this year. Mind... blown.

Our friends Puck Daddy, Paul Kukla and Tom Benjamin are on the HNIC Preview show on CBC. Right now. TURN IT ON!

Labels: bloggers, cbc, hockey night in canada, playoffs

See why I can't ever date a Leafs fan?

Labels: boston bruins, commercials, high hilarity, montreal canadiens

I'm out of my hibernation to share this gem with you: Obama Accused of High-Sticking In Bicameral Hockey Playoffs.

I do love it when the Onion does hockey news.